October 6, 2010
My mother asked me what a zombie was today. I didn’t hold it against her; I rarely hold any vocabulary question against her as her first language is German, not English. But she seriously didn’t know what a zombie was, so I told her.
Innocent Son: “It’s like when someone dies and they come back to life. They’re all gross and decayed and they go around moaning like this (cue demonstration) and they go looking for people’s brains to eat. Or like if there’s this biohazard thing, which usually happens in the movies now, and one guy gets infected and all he has to do is bite or scratch someone else and then they’re infected and it goes on and on. And then…”
At this point my mother started reorganizing credit card envelopes and just said, “Ja…” and so I slowly shut my mouth. Okay, look….I’m sorry if adults don’t find zombies that fascinating, but I DO. They’re amazing creatures, and, yes, I’m one of those super lame people kind of somewhat praying for a zombie apocalypse to occur. Just to see what I’d do! (I’d immediately purchase some guns n’ ammo, stock up on food and water, and pitch a tent on the roof of Kmart. Pick ’em off like flies.)
Because my fascination with zombies is so deep (blame Milla Jovovich and the first Resident Evil film), I’ve actually decided to organize Jackson Hole’s first ever Zombie Walk! A Zombie Walk is an event which involves a whole bunch of people getting together, dressing up like zombies, spewing blood and moaning through the streets. Jacksonites don’t normally do anything unless there is beer involved so I’ve decided to turn it into a Zombie Pub Crawl, which will incorporate both things. The tricky part will be pulling people from the Brew Pub (stop 1) in order to make our way to the Cowboy Bar, and then finally the Town Square Tavern. I’m hoping we stay together for it, but we will see. It takes place on Halloween night, and I cannot frickin’ wait. Hopefully we get a decent-sized crowd, but nothing too extreme. Don’t want to overrun the Brew Pub… (okay I kind of do.)
Halloween’s a comin’.
Munz’ Fake Blood Recipe (edible, but non-delicious):
In a large bowl…
1/3 cup warm water
2 tbsp of corn starch
Stir stir stir.
Then stir in:
2 cups light corn syrup
1 tbsp of powdered cocoa (for obvious coagulation)
6+ drops red food coloring (add slowly, stir)
Couple drops of yellow and blue coloring to darken it to your liking
Voilà! Stick it in a bottle and pour it into your mouth. Then just spit it up so it drips out of your mouth onto your neck and shirt. Yes, it stains. It’s awesome. Make more and keep an extra bottle on you so you can freshen up through the night.